Texts with Eliza

“I just found a book in my grandparents’ library titled ‘how to make a Jewish film’. Jackpot.”

“HAVE YOU GOT MY VELVET JUICY TRACKSUIT YET???”

“I am not your big boy.”

“Hey if you want I could baptize your children one day?”

“Do you know where I could purchase some meat-scented perfume?”

“Look, if you have my balsamic vinegar just say so.”

“Do you want to build a Doodle Jump Arena with me?”

“DO YOU WANT TO BUY SEGWAYS???????????”

“Gah my frogs keep breeding uncontrollably! Life’s tough now that I’m a single mum.”

“What would you do if next time you saw me, I just casually had a monobrow?”

“LeRoy has the roman nose of my wildest dreams”.